Beige Woman

At what age I wonder do you suddenly lose all your dress sense? Do you wake up one morning and think 'I must rush off to M and S and buy myself some beige clothes?' And, before you know where you are you are emptying out bags on your bed at home and squealing with delight over your new beige blouse, cardigan, trousers and skirt and nearly swooning when the whole ensemble is finished off with your new beige shoes...................how and why does this happen? Worse still, you actually think you look amazing!
Then there are men. This strange phenomena doesn't happen to them, it manifests itself in quite a different way but only if they are married or have been living with a partner for many years. Men forget how to choose and subsequently pay for their own clothes..............their wives or partners do it for them. Here is the scenario.

'Honestly John, those trousers you are wearing are appalling and it's high time you had new ones!'
John in blissful ignorance carries on reading his paper.

'We are going straight up to M and S to get you some smart clothes.' (Note, we have moved from trousers to clothes now.)

Before John knows what has happened he is in M and S and being kitted out in grey trousers, a grey shirt, dark grey tie and a grey pullover and his wife has her eye on a smart grey jacket with a nice grey hat! She decides to do without the nice grey, lightweight mackintosh as there's no rain forecast for the immediate future.............back home and still reeling from the size of the bill, John stares at the grey apparition in the mirror and seems lost in thought.In his younger days he would never have chosen anything in grey!

Look in any high street, shopping malls, parks, front gardens and you will notice adults of a certain age colour co-ordinated from head to toe.

The worry is it's already started with me and I truly do not know how. I walked to work and suddenly realised I was wearing a beige hat, a beige fleece and had some beige gloves.............I was horrified but relieved I had at least noticed in time. Am hitting the shops tomorrow and am praying I don't return with anything other than mismatched, bright, colourful clothing that nobody else would be seen dead in!