Spheksophobia

It would appear most of us suffer from various phobias, but whilst I am not keen on spiders, am not nuts on beetles and bugs and definitely would not enjoy being confined in a small space,it would not be true to say I have a phobia about these things.

As far as I am aware I only have one real phobia and that is Spheksophobia. How impressive is that? I only learned today this is what my phobia is called and I am delighted....I mean it sounds so so dramatic. Come to think of it, people suffering from Spheksophobia are often forced to be very dramatic and can often give riveting and amusing performances all without the benefit of stage school or any kind of drama lesson though, in my case I had plenty of drama lessons at school and I count pretending to be a tree as one of my best performances, but nowhere near as good as the ones I give when suffering from my phobia!

The problem with this particular phobia is no sufferer can be sure exactly when it might strike. You could be walking along the road on a late summer, sunny afternoon when BOO it hits


you and before you know where you are, you are running up the road flapping your arms around and screaming like a banshee.......causing a certain amount of consternation for passers by and much embarrassment for you. Of course as soon as the coast is clear you are entirely back to normal although your street cred might be somewhat tarnished. You don't care much though as at least you weren't harmed....this time!

It is a serious worry however flippant my remarks. When my children were small, usually incarcerated in their high chairs where I would be happily feeding them, well ,
happily feeding one of them as the other two were dreadful eaters, I am sorry to say I would exit the room immediately if one of my phobia makers ventured in...I would leave my babies aaaggghhhh! I could not help it, I would peer anxiously round the door which I held open about an inch and scan the room willing the evil thing away from my children and out of my life preferably through the open window. Oddly, I was usually lucky and the evil bastard would go. I would anxiously retrieve my child from her highchair, scan the room carefully and shut all the windows and escape taking my poor half fed baby with me. The relief of emerging unscathed was phenomonal.

When I was a child I often used to spend part of the holidays with my cousins and my lovely Aunty Hilda, I was extremely fond of Aunty Hilda but she had one HUGE flaw as far as I was concerned and I worried about it................a lot. Aunty Hilda had a lovely garden but in the summer she used to keep a huge tin half filled with water and smothered in jam, it was placed on a convenient log near some trees and it was , it was horrible, the sight which met my eyes, yuk, even all these years on it still makes me shudder when I recall what was in that tin! Was that the start of my Spheksophobia? I really do not know.

But what about my Grandfather? I adored him, he was loving, gentle and very kind and he knew I had a problem so to help me out if he knew I was getting ready to panic as a phobia maker appeared, he would squash the offenders head and then set light to its tail...........it was vile, though I was slightly mollified by how the tail would flare up and burn!

My sister was a rotten liar. Barbs, she would say,once you've been stung by a wasp you won't be scared any more as it's really not that painful. That is SO UNTRUE! I had my first sting at the age of 39 and it was appalling. I hadn't even noticed the nasty beast when it stung me on the upper arm. I had done nothing to it, suddenly I was aware of this acute pain and saw the nasty wasp zoom away out of the window. The next morning my arm was twice the size and I had to take antihistamines.

I heard Chris Packham on TV the other night waxing very lyrical on wasps. OOOhhhh their nests are amazing, made by secreting saliva with their disgusting tongues and sort of licking up wood from your garden fence and then churning and turning it all into a delightful and attractive home. Yes, and usually conveniently built near your home so the perishers have some sport to see them through the summer!

I do not care if in the 'nature of things' wasps do have a place. Not in my world they don't. I hate them, they are mean, evil and disgusting. They sting you, they hurt you and they do it for recreation, they enjoy the chase, they love being flapped away they smell your fear and they sting you not to defend themselves because they feel threatened, oh no, they sting you because they can!